If the day before yesterday was the hardest day that we have gone through as a couple, since our eighteen and a half years together, then yesterday was the second hardest. We sat and talked of our loss, both smiling and crying at the many of Lucy's memories that we’d been left with. We both know that we’d done the right thing by her in her all too short time here, and that no dog could have given more love in return.
If I am to take one thing from the gift of having Lucy as my companion it is her spirit for life. Lucy would not give up on the trail, on us or on anything that she attempted for that matter. She lived her life right until the end with joy, love and perhaps with just a touch of the devil too. To some she was just a dog perhaps, but to all who grew to know her she was so very much more.
I left the house early and loaded up the car heading towards the trails around Moel Famau, every action, from opening the tailgate to looking at the empty space in the rear view mirror brought a pang of pain and by the time I’d arrived my eyes were stinging with the salt of yet more tears. I walked for more miles than I have for a long time, passing so many places which brought visions of a thundering bog monster and her joyful spirit. The trials were foggy but there was no ‘spook game’ to creek my neck, just the silence such weather brings, with only some bare trees paying witness to my despondent passing.
As I came to the trail’s end I felt an easing, however slight, in my heart. I had not been alone after all upon the paths for the memory and spirit of Lucy had strolled along side of me, pushing me when I wanted to turn back, stilling my tears as I cried from the despair in my heart. She’s gone has my little girl, but her spirit remains out there on the trails where she waits until it’s my time to leave this world and once more tread new paths together, and until that time she’ll never, ever be forgotten.
This time of year we are asked what are our wishes and aims for the future ahead. I have only one; to live my life with the same spirit, joy and love with that our Lucy lived hers.
We both would like to offer heartfelt thanks for all the comments left upon the news of Lucy’s passing, each one helped a little and made myself and Clare understand a little that we are not alone in our love for Lucy – thank you all.