It seems a lifetime ago since I visited these pages. I have been through my own personal hell and have unknowingly dragged those who love me through it at the same time. For those who stood by me through this time when really they should have fled I will be eternally grateful.
I have tried several times to write new blogs and release my spirit from the claws of what one friend calls “the black dog”, but my heart was never in it. I stood back and reread many of the posts here upon my original musings. If you were to do the same you would notice the changes that came into my writings, how I was trying to be someone I'm not. The praise of other people had taken over the fun and basically tongues in cheeks accounts of my mundane wanderings and projects. As to whether or not the furnace has tempered me or weakened me only time will tell.
I am telling you this so that there is no misunderstanding, tis true that I have been through a furnace and dark places but I feel that there is sufficient weight being lifted from my shoulders to contemplate writing once more but what you’ll get here is no longer a search for praise but a sharing of a life.
Through all the gloom and also what a idiot I have been there are two true friends who have stood by me and seen past my own self loathing. Heartfelt thanks to Clare and to Neil....thank you.
Right enough of that and on with my life........