Friday, October 19, 2012

Back


It seems a lifetime ago since I visited these pages. I have been through my own personal hell and have unknowingly dragged those who love me through it at the same time. For those who stood by me through this time when really they should have fled I will be eternally grateful.

I have tried several times to write new blogs and release my spirit from the claws of what one friend calls “the black dog”, but my heart was never in it. I stood back and reread many of the posts here upon my original musings. If you were to do the same you would notice the changes that came into my writings, how I was trying to be someone I'm not. The praise of other people had taken over the fun and basically tongues in cheeks accounts of my mundane wanderings and projects. As to whether or not the furnace has tempered me or weakened me only time will tell.

I am telling you this so that there is no misunderstanding, tis true that I have been through a furnace and dark places but I feel that there is sufficient weight being lifted from my shoulders to contemplate writing once more but what you’ll get here is no longer a search for praise but a sharing of a life.

Through all the gloom and also what a idiot I have been there are two true friends who have stood by me and seen past my own self loathing. Heartfelt thanks to Clare and to Neil....thank you.

Right enough of that and on with my life........


14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Glad to see you're back. I missed your posts. Thank the heavens above for the two true friends.

Martijn Top said...

Glad to read you're back on the upward slope John.

Yvonne Osborne said...

Nice to see a post from you on my Blogroll. If you have two true friends, you are a lucky man. I find writing to be therapeutic, especially when you can get wrapped up in it. Life experiences should never weaken us, unless we let them. You can't truly be a good writer until you've experienced the dark days, the tragic along with the sublime, not until you've been caught in the claws of "the black dog", so get writing! (Oh, and please get rid of this dratted word verification!)

Anonymous said...

Glad you are back! As someone who fights daily with the black dog (but loves the companionship of real furry friends way more than most humans) - just hang on in there. FM x

2 Tramps said...

You are welcomed and accepted here in whatever form you need to be in at the time. We all do what we must to survive - the alternative is not a good choice. Bring it on, whatever it might be. We all have demons to slay but we can't all be as open and candid as you have.

murphyfish said...

Thank you all for your kind words.

DH said...

Very good to see you back.

Bob Mc said...

Good to see you posting again. +1 on the word verification thing. It's a PITA! I normally don't comment on blogs that use it.

murphyfish said...

Ok due to public demand the word verification thingy has been removed....the things I do..

Rachel Flowers said...

Hooray to all of the above!

danontherock said...

Good to see ya back. Yes life can be hell at times but we have to keep plugging away. I sincerely hope you feel a bit of peace in this ragged ,rough life.
regards
Dan

Gorges Smythe said...

Good to hear from you. I prayed for you a few times, as you made it clear that you were struggling. Thanks for ditching word verification; I'm trying to get rid of some blogs that use it. Bob Mc is right!

Rachel Flowers said...

Please note! I don't have nasty word verification on my blog folks! #shamelessblugging!

*shameless plugging of my blog

Damn The Broccoli said...

Yay! I for one have missed your 'ramblings' and have been far from verbal my own self.

Looking forward to anything you offer up. Always been a good read...