Wednesday, March 23, 2011

No silver lining here...

             My spirits, mood, zest for life call it what you is, to honest at an all time low at the moment so please forgive my wallowing in self pity. It feels that my life is a state of flux at the moment and there is bugger all that I can do about it. Today was the first opportunity for me to hit the trails with YLB after her first (and last!) season had finished.

            To be honest the walk was fine, bathed in glorious spring sunshine we wandered the trials following no particular route, just where my feet felt at ease. The trees afforded plenty of shade and Willow seemed to get great pleasure from being able to stretch her Bambi like legs. One thing you realise when in contact with Mother Nature is that nothing stays the same forever; everything that seems solid and permanent is in a state of continuing change – it’s quite a sobering thought isn’t it? I did manage a few pictures so I hope these give you some relief from my glum words;







Unfortunately the state of melancholy that seems to be the order of the day for me of late has not truly lifted and to be honest I cannot see an end to it in the near future. Yes I have personal issues at home clouding my life at the moment but hey, don’t we all? To go into these would not make enjoyable reading for you folks and after all it’s not what you want to hear from the fish here is it? I was thinking of not bothering to enter a post, perhaps for some time, perhaps for good, considering my present disposition, but honestly it does help a little to put my thoughts in some kind of order instead of the emotional and erratic mess they’ve been in of late. So I offer you my humblest apologies for this piece of self indulgent musing and I promise you that when I post again the reading of it will be far more enjoyable for you all.

I’ll go now and sit in the garage, hopefully working upon the staff will let my mind drift and find a little sanctuary from dark thoughts.


Until better times brighten my writing – your friend, John

19 comments:

2 Tramps said...

It sounds like you are deep in personal malaise. Please know that you are being thought of very kindly here. Hope things turn around for you very soon.

Your photos are beautiful - thank you for sharing them.

kmurray said...

John,
I do hope that your situation improves soon and in a good way. Being down in the dumps is no fun and if there is something I can do, please let me know.

You're in my thoughts and my prayers my friend.

Kari

Nearly there Claire said...

Glad you've managed to get out with Willow..it's amazing what a good dose of fresh air can do for us when that rubbish black cloud follows us around.

Hoping things perk up soon chum.

Jennyta said...

I do hope you won't stop writing, John. When my son died, writing the blog about it was one of the most helpful things for me and, hopefully, it will continue to help you too. Posts don't have to always be easy, cheerful reading.
Take care.

Rachelradiostar said...

As and when as and when ...from a new friend :) Been where you are, or where you seem to be.....definitely different reasons but I recognise the place from the unspoken description...still trying to stay afloat...however I have plenty of your old posts to peruse so it won't seem to me like your dear readers ( And i have seen enough comments to know they ommand that title) have been abandoned :) I don't mind if you don't post this .

Deus Ex Machina said...

John, best of luck beating the "funk". I found myself in a similar position not long ago, but I knew the cause ... so, I made the necessary change. I hope you can figure out what it is you need and have the courage to make it happen.

Murphyfish said...

2 Tramps,
Thank you,

Kari,
Thank you me dear, a kind offer that is appreciated.

Claire,
The walk helps, but you cannot stay on the trail forever and you have to turn for home at some point, thanks for the words.

Jennyta,
I will continue to write, it helps to put order to some thoughts, but not in my present frame of mind.

Rachelr,
All comments get posted me dear ;-), and thank you for your words.

Deus,
I hope so to, thanks for the comment.

Kerri said...

Oh I LOVE your tree shots!!

I hope your spirits are lifted soon!

John Gray said...

I think the winter has taken a great toll on people....and has added to that awful season blues...

there are a lot of us here if you need to talk....no judgments just friends...
jx

Helene Burnett said...

Glad to hear you'll continue to write. I'd miss your musings. Journaling helped pull me out of a severe depression three years ago. Please remember whatever it is, it will pass, and your friends out in the ether care.

Stephanie and Dustin said...

Melancholy can sneak up and bite us all. Make no apologies for that. Here's to hoping the bite heals in a timely fashion.

-stephanie

Casey said...

Sorry to hear that things aren't right for the time being, John. I hope the situation is workable and your mood brightens soon. Looks like the staff is coming along!

Chin up, and hope you post again soon. Take care -

Casey

Coloradocasters said...

I read your words and understand. To me, the world feels as if it is moving in the wrong direction and there is nothing we can do but hang on for the ride. Unfortunately the ride feels like it is going downward more than up. Suffice to say you won’t get any “toughen up buttercup” or Peter Pan advice from me on this. All I can do is suggest you find comfort where you can and let good deeds as well as hard work help heal the battered soul. If you can keep perspective and not let the blue days push your actions in bad directions the damage is greatly minimized. Wishing you the best each moment of every day.

Karen Thomason/Gordon Setter Crossing said...

Life's a bitch sometimes John. Seems like no matter how hard a person tries to miss the pains and pits of life, it just can't be avoided. I hope you are well and things will turn around soon.

Le Loup said...

What can one say after all these previous well wishers, perhaps DITTO would cover it?!
The one thing that always kept me going at school and at work (hated both of them!) was the fact that it was not me at school or at work, it was someone else. Someone who put on a front that sort of fitted in.
But I did not fit in, I was really quite different & the odd one out!
When I got home I transfered into the real me, the one who liked to run in the woods. Knowing that kept me going.
Hang in there friend, it always sorts itself out in the end.
Keith.
http://woodsrunnersdiary.blogspot.com/

Murphyfish said...

Kerri.
Thank you

John G,
Thanks for the offer my good man

Helene
Thank you me dear, the writing may take some time in coming though…

Stephanie,
Thanks for the kindness

Casey,
Cheers my man, what goes round comes around I guess – ‘speak’ to you soon my friend

ColoradoC,
Thanks for the sage advice my man

Karen,
Ah life certainly can be one nasty bugger…

Keith,
Thank you my friend

Leigh said...

When I cant leave the thoughts for the day in the forest a little time in the wood shop usually cures the icky me's. I hope you feel better soon dear!
All the very best for you my friend,
Leigh ;-)

The Suburban Bushwacker said...

John
I am familiar with your symptoms - they are my own.
My prescription works for me, it is all I have to offer you.

Keep Writing - the approval of strangers is powerful medicine, your blog only has readers because it's worth reading. FACT.

Keep going outside - Nature is always true, and from those truths, others will become apparent.

Hunt and Eat something - be it a salad leaf, a rabbit or a deer. You will feel better for renewing the connection. It is our nature.

When you are ready to talk, I am ready to listen. You have my email, call any time.

SBW

Murphyfish said...

Leigh,
Thank you so much my dear.

SBW,
Appreciate the offer, may well take you up on it if things do not improve.