Paranoia and Vegetables

Well this week didn’t start off to well at all, what with work, trying to finish off the new fish tank installation, cranking up the E-bay sales, helping Wayne shift slabs (bloody heavy slabs at that!) organise my limited growing space and a ton of other stuff I’ve been running around like the proverbial blue arsed fly. Then to cap it all off Lucy decides to throw a sicky, just when I needed to get ‘out there’ upon the trails for a little much needed solace the indestructible bog monster reminds me that she’s not the spring chuck that she used to be and that even she can have an off day or two.

To be honest we’ve been a tad worried about the old girl, one moment she’s her usual in your face self the next I’m getting a phone call on me night shift to say that we may well have to call the vet out. Oh yes she was that bad, her symptoms? Well if the truth be told her ailment didn’t seem to make much sense and the only reason that I can think of is that she was hit by two things at once. Firstly there was the complete loss of appetite, liquid faeces from the rear (well I could have said the shits but you know I’m just far too posh for that) and farts that should be used as a crowd dispersal tool! Then just when we thought that she couldn’t look any worse her hind end stiffened up completely making it difficult for her to sit, curl up in her basket, make her tail redundant or even climb the front step to the house with a gentle helping hand, worrying indeed. Fortunately she started to show small signs of improvement that evening so with Clare keeping a watchful eye on her the decision to leave her till the morning was made. Within 3 days Lucy was back to her endearing self, the cause of her distress remains a mystery. The only reason that we can come up with is that she’s either picked up something disagreeable upon the trails or that she’s picked up something deliberately left for her or another dog. Although the latter seems distasteful there have been past cases within the local area of little laced parcels left for dogs on common ground. Although she is rarely walked in the suburbs and is watched like a hawk when done so, it’s a possibility that I must consider. It is a sad thing when some idiots past actions always seem to cast a shadow of doubt when things go awry, even though there may well be nothing sinister to the matter at all. It’s not that I’m paranoid, it’s just that there is always somebody out there trying to get me!

Anyway enough of the woes of Lucy and the ifs and buts of the cause of her illness, having her laid up for a couple of days has at least enabled your budding food producer to tidy up his ‘compact and bijou’ growing area. Oh alright that tiny scrap of back yard needed organising a little better, it has to serve as an outdoor dining area (summer’s on the way you know), relaxation spot; especially after a crappy night shift there’s nothing better than listening to the dawn chorus with a steaming mug of tea in my hand, as well as hopefully producing some morsels of fresh vegetables for one of my favourite pastimes; - eating (ok so it’s my favourite pastime). So with some enthusiasm I’ve attacked the area in front of the south facing garage wall and finished off a raised area on which to neatly place my container held vegetable plot. So far I’ve got quite the selection started; runner beans, boliti beans, garden peas, potatoes, onion, butternut squash, tomatoes, lettuce leaves, courgettes, garlic (wild and conventional), chives, mint, strawberries, rhubarb, peppers and parsley. Considering last year I had, Mmmmm let me see now, ah that’s it nothing at all in the form of food growing, things are moving at a reasonable pace. Future plans for the autumn are to hopefully convert that typically suburban rectangle of grass called a front garden into a cottage garden with the bias on the edible side of planting, making and erecting a lean to green house to rest upon the aforementioned garage wall, source a grape vine that will produce in our climate and (finger crossed) welcome a few bantam hens to the fold (really hope Clare’s not reading this bit!). Time will tell (as will money) as to whether my plans reach fruition but hey at least I’m going to give it a try.

Tomorrow Lucy’s taking me out on the trails, we’re not going too far, I just want to see how she holds up and make sure that there’s no reaction to a short stroll. Also me thinks that this cheap cider that I’m quaffing as I type may well be a source of my own, green around the gills, feeling tomorrow. I’ll be sure to let you all know how she copes and hopefully normal service shall be resumed without further ado. Till then, stay safe and just get ‘out there’, you know you want to!!!

Your friend,

John