How to make Cider - Part 1

                After a couple of requests from some of my readers from across the pond I feel compelled to give my take upon the ancient and dark art of cider making. Now regular readers will know that I'm as about as expert on this subject as I am on say; lobotomy operations, the art of chess or even writing for that matter! So for me to try and produce a readable, practical guide to making cider using ‘The Murphyfish method’ should be interesting to say the least! I’ll endeavour to make this as plain and as simple as possible, although from me you would expect nothing else! Having said this though, the very beauty of the method that I’ve put together from various sources and other peoples accounts is in its simplicity.

A lot of the recipes and methods that I came across talk in much more detail, using chemicals and some more natural bits n bobs to produce cider comparable to shop bought. But I’m a simple man and when myself and my friend Chunky Monkey set about making cider last year we decided to forgo a lot of the science and plumb for the simplest method that would result in a drinkable and alcoholic brew. The results were firstly a great deal of fun and laughter in the making of it, a lot of expectation and of staring at bubbling glass jars and finally a brew that proved to be far more enjoyable than we could have ever hoped! Every person that sampled the stuff finished their glass and held it up for more. This, more than anything, says that the method that we cobbled together between us worked fine enough for these two bumpkins!

                

The Ingredients;

                Apples;-  Yes apples, now I know some you might well be thinking ‘well that’s bloody obvious’ but before you start smirking and wallowing within your smugness, a word. Several cider recipes that I perused last year in an effort to gain an insight into this dark art named specific types of apples that were “absolutely essential” in the production of drinkable cider – hogwash. There may well be truth in that certain apples encourage certain qualities within the finish product but if, like me, you do not have access to such fruit and like me, which is more than likely the case, your apple identification runs to Crab apples, Cooking apples and then other apples well then worrying about specific types of what apples to use is pointless.

One thing that I gleaned from the abundance of material out there on the subject is that the more diverse a mixture of apples you use, of whatever types you can lay your clammy hands upon, the better. But words of warning, try a least to make some sort of record from whence you obtained your different apples and in what quantities they were roughly mixed. The reasoning behind this is if, like me, you manage to produce an acceptable and palatable cider then it’s wise to have a record or recipe if you like, of what made it successful.

Apples should be picked when ripe or as near as damn it with any bruised of rotten ones discarded. After picking I tend to store my apples for a week or so in cardboard boxes again discarding ones that appear to be rotting. It’s at this point that the inner sanctum known as the garage begins to smell like an orchard.

One final word (for now) is that you’ll require around about 20lb’s of apple to produce 1 gallon of cider. This is because there is no water used in my method so all the liquid comes from the fruit. So be aware that if you decide to produce more than just a couple of bottles then a large quantity of apples will be required.

Yeast; - But more specifically cider yeast. Now do not expect this befuddled hobbit to know the ins and outs of yeasts but apparently different types will give different results in the fermentation process, hence cider yeast is the one for me. From the little that I’ve learned so far, yeast is a fungus (I think) with several different species/varieties that consume the apples’ sugar at different rates so giving different quantities of waste off in the forms of carbon dioxide and alcohol, hence the different effects upon the end product.

It is possible so ferment cider using only the natural yeast that is found on the apples but I felt that was a little bit of ‘leaving it to chance’, hence the addition of the ‘produced’ yeast. After all it’s a lot of apples and effort to waste if it all goes tits up!

Lemons; - I add about 1 full lemon to each one of my production sessions which is about 3 gallons at the moment. This is added to introduce some acidity and seems to help the process along. Like I said I’m no expert and I do not know exactly why this works, but it does.

Strong cold tea; - This helps provide or increase ‘tannin’ in the cider. The best way that I can explain tannin and it’s need in cider production is by being lazy and giving you this link to follow; http://www.cider.org.uk/tannin.htm. Yes I know it’s a small cop out but I didn’t want to cheat and pretend that I know all the ins and outs of this part of the process.

And that’s it, just four ingredients! Well that's part one done and dusted, part two will give a run down on the equipment used and the method of turning apples into something a little bit special. I hope that this is making sense so far.

Your friend,

John

               

                

Couldn't think of anything better....

        Tis indeed a hot and beautiful day as I shrug off the woolen headed feeling left around me head from last nights show of horrors called 'the grind'. I've being contemplating my 150th post (yes I know 149 too many) with all manner of classy, humorous, sharp, jaw dropping and general captivating pieces, but for those you'll just have to wait, probably for a long time and on somebody else's blog for that matter!


I thought that I'd just show a short video clip of what's been happening within the dark recesses of the sanctuary to all lost boy scouts and whittling type folk, known to you simply as 'the garage';-

    Sadly this was the last bottle from my cider making of 2010, but do not fret for already there are several gallons fermenting of 2011's hopefully fine batch......

An excuuse me note....

            OK so I’ve a tad remiss in my duties as yer friendly, ever so slightly rotund, pirate like blogger from the paradise that is North Wales lately (well there’s an opening line). But unfortunately to have something to write about for your entertainment and gratification one must actually lead a life away from the keyboard and glare of the monitor otherwise the post would read something like; - powered up computer, pressure must be low as it took an age to boot up, checked email only the usual junk mails trying to sell me Viagra and asking if I require a loan (a loan? Hell-fire, I need a bloody miracle for my present finances to return to anything like healthy!), played online chess, checked Face book (why?) and powered off computer (must remember to check the steam pressure again). Not exactly the most riveting of lives to tell you about I think you’ll agree.

            Sooo what has Captain Murphyfish (it’s my blog and if I want a promotion I’ll bloody well have one) been up to of late then? Well besides the never ending monotony of the grind, can’t live with it, can’t afford to live without it (have I mentioned my finances or rather lack of them?), tis been a whirl wind of activity of late. Firstly there has been the planting of seeds and a tad of gardening, utilising that garden frame that I cobbled together, fully and even if I say so myself what a grand piece of kit it has turned out to be.

            Then there is the little question of château Wooldridge now resembling a builders yard, what with new paths and walls being laid I have to admit that my back has been in bits lately. But all will turn out well (I hope) with a cottage garden to attract wildlife (and a few veg) being the ultimate aim for the front garden, re bomb site. Work, though, has ground to a slight halt of late er have I mentioned my finances?

            A further project has been completed with the addition of wooden trellis (reclaimed from atop of a fence that was been thrown) to break up the expanse of the garage wall. Wisteria, a climbing rose and a grape vine are the intended planting here (haven’t mention the vine to Clare so shhhhhh).

            Of course there has been plenty of walking.

            Finally there is the last thing that has been occupying my time. Now it may appear that I’m off on a tangent here but bear with me (that’s if you've read this far). A week last Monday I paid a visit to a fellow blogger, yep that’s right, John the recluse and anti social git actually visited another human being! The person in question was a certain Mr. J. Grey whom I have mentioned before in earlier scribing. John writes his blog with a wry sense of humour and an outlook which is both heart warming and yet entertaining. So with anticipation and also a little trepidation about meeting someone for the first time I set of (with the Warthog of course) for the village of Trelawnyd. Any doubts about meeting somebody for the first time were soon dispelled as John proved as welcoming and as entertaining as his blog. Now I won’t expand upon the meeting and conversation just enough to say that time flew and I felt that I’d known John far longer than the brief time the visit lasted. Now how did this take up time I hear you ask? Well John has more than a couple of chickens and foul and eventually the conversation came around to whether or not my back yard could sustain a few Bantams. Mmmm the upshot and time taker is now known as project three (ish). John’s generosity went far further than advice and he has kindly offered me two bantams, so guess what I’ve been building this week?

            Ok so it’s not quite finished and I’m thinking of giving a full post over to its construction once done, but give me another couple of days after the next round of the grind and me thinks that the henhouse will be ready for its first tenants – way hay! The only thing with such a project was the state that it left the inner sanctum in:-

            But this morning’s showers gave me the time to have a tidy up.

            Oh and finally I have had a little time to do some pirating as well, firstly all materials used for the coup and run so far have cost … nothing (don’t ask ‘cause I hate lying), a couple of bargains have been found upon the car boots for stupidly cheap prices including a set of carving chisels and the lathes chucks and also I've come into possession of eleven demy johns for my favorite fee, life is certainly bumbling along quite nicely me thinks. Oh and finally, finally I've been having a sort out of my wares to place upon the dreaded E bay (did I mention my lack of finances lately?).

            So that’s about it folks, excuses made and I’ll try to be a little more regular in future, oh and I’ve got three staffs in progress one of which is for Mr. Grey as a thank you for the chucks.

Till the next time, take care,

John

Another side of me

Ah draw closer to the fire my friend as I show you pictures of sadness and of woe, of forgotten dreams and wasted time, of missed opportunity and of lost causes. What pictures of sorrow await to haunt your dreams as you ken my words? Well they are pictures of sorry abandonment of a sacred and holy place, a refuge to men from the horrors of domestication, a place that on past occasion has brought solace and comfort to my troubled mind. Yes dear friend I’m here to show you the degradation of a place of meditation and peace that would rival the desolation of Smaug. For those of a weak constituent please avert your eyes now.

Truly the pictures that have seared your eyes are indeed of that holiest of holy places ‘The Garage’. There was a time, dear reader, when this hallowed place was the hub of so many dreams, a whirlwind of the plotting and the planning of projects and of tasks that would leave friends and neighbours in awe at my ingenuity and skill. Where the shaping of future labours of magnificence was to take place enabling yours truly to bask in the glory of accomplishment. But not only was it the birthplace of my creative and innovative projects, oh no it was far more than this. For here a man could find peace and be at one with himself and the world around him. A place where fellow garage gophers would gather and talk of manly things such as Wale’s chances of being a world power once more (on the rugby field that is), where fishing trips past and future would be discussed at length and the one that got away grew with each telling of the tale (and with each vassal of grog gleefully consumed), where indeed grown men would feel relaxed enough to hug each other at the arrival of a much sort after ½ inch router bit or a Japanese water stone for the sharpening and honing of cutting edges, oh heady days indeed.

But now all plans are laid in waste as last year’s morose feelings led to nothing more than this once sacred place being naught more than a dumping ground for everything and more that was not required or wanted in clan Wooldridge’s home, oh sad and shameful days indeed. There was a time, now in distant memory tis true, that this place offered solace and peace for this wandering Welshman, but now it would appear all is lost and perhaps it offers no more than winter quarters to a few mice and frogs that await the spring.

Ah but all is not lost, for indeed with the arrival of the warthog known as Willow a need descended upon me. Indeed it soon became obvious that the fun cruisers ‘dog guard’ proved nothing more than a cobweb to be brushed aside by the little weasel allowing her to deposit all manner of detritus upon the back seat in recent weeks, the little imp. I'm needful of something to confine her to her rightful place in the rear of the cruiser and being as tight as a ducks arse (and that’s water tight) I deemed to construct a barrier to her infernal clambering, ‘twas at this point that I was confronted by the pictures above, the word bugger did escape my lips at this points. So the Herculean task of reinstating my solemn sanctuary has begun.

Now I know full well that the majority of my beloved readership enjoy my tales of the outdoors and my wayward wanderings but truly that is not all there is to me and to glean the complete picture of who I am there will indeed be tales from the garage and its rebirth and future projects and adventures within a small space. So to begin from scratch, project number one will be the dog guard, or as it may be known ‘the garage reborn'.

Your friend, and shed head,

John