Monday, January 24, 2011

Another side of me

Ah draw closer to the fire my friend as I show you pictures of sadness and of woe, of forgotten dreams and wasted time, of missed opportunity and of lost causes. What pictures of sorrow await to haunt your dreams as you ken my words? Well they are pictures of sorry abandonment of a sacred and holy place, a refuge to men from the horrors of domestication, a place that on past occasion has brought solace and comfort to my troubled mind. Yes dear friend I’m here to show you the degradation of a place of meditation and peace that would rival the desolation of Smaug. For those of a weak constituent please avert your eyes now.

Truly the pictures that have seared your eyes are indeed of that holiest of holy places ‘The Garage’. There was a time, dear reader, when this hallowed place was the hub of so many dreams, a whirlwind of the plotting and the planning of projects and of tasks that would leave friends and neighbours in awe at my ingenuity and skill. Where the shaping of future labours of magnificence was to take place enabling yours truly to bask in the glory of accomplishment. But not only was it the birthplace of my creative and innovative projects, oh no it was far more than this. For here a man could find peace and be at one with himself and the world around him. A place where fellow garage gophers would gather and talk of manly things such as Wale’s chances of being a world power once more (on the rugby field that is), where fishing trips past and future would be discussed at length and the one that got away grew with each telling of the tale (and with each vassal of grog gleefully consumed), where indeed grown men would feel relaxed enough to hug each other at the arrival of a much sort after ½ inch router bit or a Japanese water stone for the sharpening and honing of cutting edges, oh heady days indeed.

But now all plans are laid in waste as last year’s morose feelings led to nothing more than this once sacred place being naught more than a dumping ground for everything and more that was not required or wanted in clan Wooldridge’s home, oh sad and shameful days indeed. There was a time, now in distant memory tis true, that this place offered solace and peace for this wandering Welshman, but now it would appear all is lost and perhaps it offers no more than winter quarters to a few mice and frogs that await the spring.

Ah but all is not lost, for indeed with the arrival of the warthog known as Willow a need descended upon me. Indeed it soon became obvious that the fun cruisers ‘dog guard’ proved nothing more than a cobweb to be brushed aside by the little weasel allowing her to deposit all manner of detritus upon the back seat in recent weeks, the little imp. I'm needful of something to confine her to her rightful place in the rear of the cruiser and being as tight as a ducks arse (and that’s water tight) I deemed to construct a barrier to her infernal clambering, ‘twas at this point that I was confronted by the pictures above, the word bugger did escape my lips at this points. So the Herculean task of reinstating my solemn sanctuary has begun.

Now I know full well that the majority of my beloved readership enjoy my tales of the outdoors and my wayward wanderings but truly that is not all there is to me and to glean the complete picture of who I am there will indeed be tales from the garage and its rebirth and future projects and adventures within a small space. So to begin from scratch, project number one will be the dog guard, or as it may be known ‘the garage reborn'.

Your friend, and shed head,



blake said...

good luck, looks alot like what i got going on in mine. i think i need a little rebirth in my man-cave

Gorges Smythe said...

There's a basement under the back 1/3 of my house which was once my refuge from the world. Sadly, it looks much akin to your garage. I keep saying that I'm going to build an outbuilding or two, so I can relocate the clutter and reclaim my deminutive dominion. Time will tell.

CDGardens said...

Ah,I bet you are not alone in the fiasco of trying to find a place for that extra box or two not wanted in the house.

I will be looking forward to seeing your "sanctuary" reborn, now that you have given us a peek inside
and the design for Willow's restraint once you've gotten it engineered.

Stephanie and Dustin said...

Looking forward to your garage tales as much as your outdoor tales. Enjoy your rediscovery!


Mel said...

Aww, another side of you! Looking forward to future projects and renovations from the "Garage". I am sure I will find this interesting to follow a long on.

Fish Whisperer said...

I have examined your forgotten sanctuary closely and might I say, I shed not one but two tears for each image of forsaken refuge. But with the drying of my tears I realized all is not lost, and soon it shall be restored to its previous glory.

Damn The Broccoli said...

Did I catch a glimpse of Carpe mouldering along under the detritus there?

John, in the name of men everywhere I charge you to sort out this temple to DIY with utmost haste.

There are those of us who have no space to call there own, reduced to working in a cramped hallway, who cringe in horror at this wilful neglect of a hallowed space!

Lets hope the muse finds you again with renewed vigour!

Murphyfish said...

Ah a rare event, a new reader! Welcome Blake to my ramblings, man cave eh? I guess that does kind of some the garage up doesn’t it.

Mr. Smythe,
I’m afraid that you are going to have to bite the bullet my good man, roll them sleeves up and damn well get stuck in there – you just know that there is no safer place for a man and his thoughts than the sanctuary of a workshop.

I wish that it was only the odd extra box…….

I hope that they keep your good self and others as entertained as my other musings.

Cheers my friend, hope that I do not disappoint…

Do not be shedding any more tears my good man, for the holy task is under-way (once I leave this key board that is)

Murphyfish said...

Ah Damn,
I lower my head in abject shame and misery, for that is indeed Carpe underneath a smouldering mound of detritus, woe indeed is me to have allowed the garage and it's water born charge to have descended to such depths. Fear not my friend, restoration is under-way, though I have not yet been served with a penance......

gpc said...

I have no man at the moment, but I do have a basement that closely resembles your garage. Perhaps if I build it, He will come? I will sit at your feet and learn.

Karen Thomason/Gordon Setter Crossing said...

Hi John, Not that I want to discourage you from cleaning up the mess, errr....the garage that is, but, they do make seat belts and harnesses for dogs in vehicles. They are not real expensive. Just a thought.

Murphyfish said...

Hi Karen,
They do make such contraptions over here but this would not solve the problem of the mound of detritus that is rapidly increasing upon the 'cruiser's' rear seat. Anyway I man's garage is his kingdom, and I shall defend it with my life..

Ah build it and HE will come, although the next task will be getting him out of there....

Shoreman said...

Hi John. I'm a little slow getting to you because once I plan a fishing trip (yesterday being a spur of the moment trip) I lose all sense of time and blog reading goes by the wayside. None the less, here I am. Shoreman does not have a garage, but a lowly shop (12x16) that follows the biffle bag concept (200lbs of crap in a 100lb bag). You get the idea. So with the most sympathy of your dilemma I just wanted to let you know that I have 6 tubes of Elmer's glue, in my shop, that have never been found. You're with good company.


Murphyfish said...

Hey mark,
Mmmm the 'biffle bag' concept sure does describe the garage to a tee.